I just got a new graphics tablet today, courtesy of Wacom, who sent me an INTUOS2!!!

You rock Wacom.

Two comics up today, more will come filtering in to make up for me being graphic tablet-less this past week.

Tomorrow I'm flying to Montreal for the weekend. I've never been to Canada before so I'm looking forward to it.

Ok two things:

1) I think my drawing tablet is broken, so it's going to be a couple of non drawing days until I can fix it. Unfortunately I don't have the tools in New York to do it by hand. I'll try to get things rolling ASAP. Don't worry though- any missed days will be made up for.

2) I've picked a winner for my dream interpretation contest. I picked the interpretation that I felt was most accurate to my situation, thorough, and thoughtful. Congratulations Sumrine- you're getting an original sketch!

Sumrine's intepretation helped me make sense of what's been going on in my life and certain people I'm feeling bitter towards. My psychologist has said it before: I feel unappreciated for everything I've been doing to improve myself. Instead of being praised for any progress I've made in my life or for receiving encouragement from others, most people either don't care or consider me an inconvenience.

Because you know... depressed people should be shoved into closets until they "get over it."

Thankfully, I have my best friend from college, Nick, "Uncle" Matty, various grad school colleagues, and Edouard. You guys rock to the max.

Three comics up today- internet's shaky again.

Saw an apartment in Brooklyn today- it was a very cute neighborhood. Too bad I probably won't get to live there.

The bleeding has stopped mostly, but my finger looks gnarly. Maybe I should've gotten it checked out and maybe the doctor would've said that I should've gotten stiches- but it's ok, I think I'll survive. The skin underneath the black layer of flappy epidermis will grow back and my finger will look brand new.

I just finished reading a book called The Noonday Demon by Andrew Soloman. I recommend it to anyone who is curious about depression, who wants to know the history depression, or for anyone who is curious about what it's like to be in a psychiatric ward. It's really all quite accurate and interesting. If you live in New York, you can get it at the Strand for $6.95. It's 445 pages, but it's a very fast read.

In it there was a poem written by a psychiatric patient, which I thought summed up depression quite poignantly.

I wish I could cry

as easy as the sky. the tears don't come

as easily now. they're stuck inside my soul.

It's empty and I am afraid

Do you feel the emptiness? I guess

it's my own fear from within. I should

be brave and battle that fear

but it's a war that's gone on

for so damned long. I'm tired.

The children are growing and the tears

in my eyes are flowing. Missing the growth of them is like missing the seasons

change, missing the roses that bloom

in spring and missing snowflakes falling

in winter. How many more years

do I have to miss? The years won't

stop for me or for them and why

should they? They will continue to

blossom and

bloom and my life will continue

to stand still like a silent pond.

- Angel Starkey

Reading this book made me realize that the stigma surrounding depression and other mental illnesses really needs to be addressed.

Today I was very productive. I worked on one of my MA theses and other junk. My first gen ipod (yes, I still have my ipod from 4 years ago and yes I do feel a little ridiculous carrying my brick around when everyone has those slim video ipods) earphones broke today. =(

Well, after bragging about my perfectly manicured fingers, my left ring finger got caught in the door of my trash chute, causing me to bleed for a full hour and making me think that I was actually going to die from losing too much blood. I got my everything wrapped up though and the bleeding has stopped.

Today I looked at two apartments with my roommates. They were nice, but it's really far away from everything I love about Manhattan. I'd be moving from the uppity Upper East Side to the 'hood on W. 160th.

For the people that have dropped me a line about the missing comics in the archive- they are up now.

Two comics up.

I haven't had time to get to it until now, but I should have the winner announced for my dream contest decided by the end of the week.

Edouard has somehow managed to get me to stop biting my nails- isn't that amazing? The people who know me well know that I have a severe nail- cuticle biting problem. At its worst, it looks like my fingers were shoved in a jar of acid (by George Washington... at a pahty- if you don't get this reference look up George Washington on youtube). Now they are beautiful and freshly manicured for the first time in my life.